Taper week is going well I guess. I’m doing my best not to eat as much as I usually do. I’m not going to run more than 15 miles this week. Just light Zone 1 (140 and below) stuff. Maybe a little biking and a short 1500 meter swim.  Stretching for sure! It’s hard to tell how you’re feeling when running in sub freezing temperatures.  I leave Thursday so tomorrow I need to run, pack, get my nutrition sorted out, swim?, and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour. I’ll probably cut out the swim.

I guess the only thing is to go out there and do your best and have a good time. The vacation couldn’t come at a better time where personal stuff, future uncertainty, and athletic goals are all starting to get confused. I like compartmentalizing if I can. A big part of me doesn’t even want to go out there as it’s just been one thing after another. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the city, but I just need a change of scene.

I feel something brewing…

It's not fun running in the cold

I walked into work this morning and I saw the 2 boxes of Dunkin Donuts sitting by the water cooler. “Oh no you didn’t!”  “Damn you!” I took a deep breath and just kept walking. Upon going back to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle, people were conversing around the area eating donuts celebrating the Phillies entering going back to the World Series. All types of flavors were on display: Boston Creme, Chocolate glazed, Old Fashioned, Chocolate Covered…the whole gambit.

“Ken, don’t you want one?”

“No thank you”

A silent gasp ensued.

See, I have a reputation of having a large appitite, mostly earned during my Ironman training.

“Are youuuuu sure?”

“Yea…I’m sure”

Walking away was probably the hardest thing.  I felt like I missed out on something.  There will be a few more attempts to get me off the wagon: Halloween being the closest. And if the Phillies actually WIN the World Series, I know I’ll definitely have to be on my A-game.  Since I’ve added the weight tab to this blog, I’ve been really anal about what I eat. Eating when not hungry or bored is simply not an option anymore.

We’re over. You lied to me. Or maybe I lied to myself. Regardless, I think our relationship is over.

We first met at the corner, as I was looking for a light snack to quell my Ironman training hungers. I’d have you with a bottled Ice Coffee (Mocha). I must admit, you were really good when warmed up in the microwave.

But alas, you were fake. At least Ice Coffee (Mocha) has it’s nutritional value typed onto the bottle (180 calories).  Not sure what I was thinking, but I thought you were around the same calorie content. Maybe I should have listened to what my mother taught me: “All that glitters is not gold”. And now I must tell everyone what you are really made of

Your ex,

We are sooo not together anymore

Ken

1 sliceCalories: 430

Total fat: 22g

Carbs: 52g

Protein:6g

I’ve had enough of brown rice, white rice, lentil soup, protein shakes, PowerAde, Accelerade, Gatorade, EnduroxR4, power gels, hammer gels, cliff gels, Gu gels, Powerbars, Atkins bars, Zone bars, Cliff bars, fish, tuna, vegan protein patties, and black beans. I’ve had enough of whole wheat pasta (with no sauce), vegan cheese, Silk, egg whites, baked tilapia, grapes, apples, bananas, strawberries, kudos 100 calorie bars, Weight Watchers yogurt, water, Pam non-stick spray, broccoli, beets, salads, balsamic vinaigrette, bacon bits, croutons, mushrooms, spinach, mustard greens, basil, romaine,  and asparagus. I’ve had enough of “responsible portions”, predictable meals, no fast food, no chocolate, no Grandma’s cookies, no Hershey’s Kisses, beer, and a good old fashioned Coca-Cola!!!

Last night I submitted to my cravings, and now I’m paying for it. I had a mental break down. I ordered a Buffalo wings special (10 hot wings, with fries, slaw, and a can a Pepsi).  I inhaled it without remorse. I sat in my apartment silently not even taking a breath between bites.  It was good. Really good.  I laid back in my chair in triumph; admiring my devastation of the meal that was once in front of me in possibly world record time.  Kobiyashi himself wouldn’t have had a chance against me in a contest on this day. I was full. FULL!! “Oh yea, this is what full feels like”! I felt like a man.

Ummmmm, good

I felt that way for about a little over 2 hours. My stomach caught up with me. And about 18 hours later I’m still paying for it. My stomach hurts. Was it the “911″ sauce that I asked for? Was it too much food? I sort of feel guilty. Sorta. But not much. I don’t know what came over me. Almost 3 weeks until Ironman UK, I felt I should have been more responsible. I broke down mentally.

As I look down at my baked salmon, brown rice, kidney beans, and corn for lunch today, I wish it were something else. Like a burger, with BBQ sauce. With blue cheese dressing. But I can’t go back to that place again. I, and my toilet, don’t feel like seeing each other that much in a day.  So I’m back on the wagon, eating well, and soon I’ll be back to normal. Next time, I’ll go without the “911″ style, and go with the “Mild”.