Ken's Road to Kona

Dating as a triathlete…

is pretty much pointless. I said this blog will be much more about than just about triathlon, but about my life in general. And one aspect of that life is my attempt to find a worthy partner.This summer was very successful on the triathlon front, but not so much on the dating front.The major hindrance is “free” time. A typical situation goes like this:

Me: Hey would you like to go out some time?

Girl: Sure that would be great. how about happy hour tomorrow after work?

Me: Ooohhhh, yeaaa, that’s not good. I have major swim set I have to do after work. Since I’m not the greatest swimmer, I’ll probably done around 8ish.

Girl: Oh….um, ok. Are you free for any happy hour during week?

Me: Um, no not really. I train every day after work.

Girl: Oh….I see.

So here is the pivotal question: Should I give up training session to go out on a date?

Is it even possible to even get to know a girl while training is your number one priority? The first question when I get about this dilemma is “Why not date a triathlete”? That’s a good question. Tried that twice this summer. However I believe there is a danger when one attempts this. I went out with two Tri-Girls  girls this summer (both very beautiful by the way).

The first date with Tri-Girl 1 was lets-meet-at-a-typical-bar. I already digged her because it was later in the evening because she had to train too! Not even having to explain that made me like her before I even met her. Very nice girl. We hung out a few times. We even did a training ride with one of her friends at her 1/2 IM bike course she was attempting later that summer which turned into a brick training section. I thought things were going well, but I never really heard from her after I came back from England. She didn’t even want to see my IMUK medal. Odd.

Tri-Girl 2 was great as well. Probably one of the best smiles I’ve seen in long time. I’m a sucker for big facial features: eyes, high cheeks bones, big teeth, etc. We hung out a few times, and even did some lifting at our local gym. I really wanted to go for a run with her as that she is wicked fast. I saw her after England where I broke out the medal. She digged it. I know she did. I mean, who doesn’t dig an Ironman right? Then, it just faded.

The future of dating

I think the lesson I learned with the two Tri-Girls is that even if you have a common passion/hobby, there has to be “ritual”. Meaning, there has to be an official date. I think the problem with these ladies was that I didn’t “go for it”. It was just turned into two people who liked a certain thing. No courtship whatsoever. Thus, I blame myself. I believe their might have been a window of opportunity particularly with one of them, but once that window closes…it doesn’t open again. Ever. You’re lucky just to be in the “Let’s just be friend” zone. And no one likes that. I guess it’s probably better than the the girl I thought I could see myself with ditch me for a guy at an event that I HOSTED. I pick em classy don’t I? I’m sure the reasons behind the one of  Tri-girls not eventually us becoming an item is combination many things which I’m sure I’m at fault for some; or maybe it’s that timeless thing we can’t seem to describe…some call it “chemistry”.

So I ask the question again: Should I give up training time to go out on a date? Especially during the week? I’m 30, rather decent looking, in shape, and I think I have a pretty good handle on the human experience. But anyone who lives or has lived in Philadelphia will tell you; it’s a pretty difficult city to date in. If you didn’t go to school or here, or weren’t born here, you are pretty much on your own when it comes to meeting people.

In 2007, Travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News found Philadelphia to be among the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly, according to the “America’s Favorite Cities”.  About 60,000 people responded to the online survey which ranked 25 cities in categories including shopping, food, culture, and cityscape. For unattractiveness, Philadelphia just beat out Washington DC and Dallas/Fort Worth for the bottom spot. And again in 2009, Travel and Leisure magazine ranked Philadelphia LAST for the most unattractive city in America. You can find the poll here.

I’d be lying if I said training on your own doesn’t get lonely at times. Hopefully joining a tri-club will help that. Thus, after a disappointing summer of dating, I’m not doing taking time off to train for a date. Why give up a lifting session or an interval workout on someone you haven’t met yet? I look at all these amazing athletes, and now I understand why their wives and children hug them at finish line after a victory. Chris McCormick wants to quit soon, and Craig Alexander says he’s only going to do it for a few more years. Why? Both cite to spend more time with their families. I can only imagine that a key reason why these men won Ironman Championships is because they had great family support.

I guess after so many disappointing dates and false hopes, I’m done with all the online dating world as well. I think what hooks people into these things is the possibility of hope.  The scary thing about these sites is that I’ve seen people become addicted. No longer are people actually venturing outside to meet people– they stay in front of their glow box. It’s been my experience that because of our instant gratification culture, movies, and maybe my particular generation, we expect love to happen instantly with no work required. On top of that, it seems like because of all the technology, people are always looking for “the next best thing” as I like to put it. Do we as people ever ride anything out anymore to see what happens; or do we abandon ship at the realization the person across the table from us might have a slight personality flaw? How do we become content with something? Is technology keeping us apart more than bringing us together?